Skeeter Bronson: So guys, let me ask you something…. What the heck is on my head right now?
Patrick: Bugsy.
Skeeter Bronson: Why do you call him Bugsy?
Patrick: Because of his eyes.
Skeeter Bronson: *screams* Those would be big on a cow!

Skeeter Bronson: So the kids control the stories.

Patrick: Tell us a bedtime story.
Skeeter Bronson: Ok, here we go. Once upon a time, the greatest of all heroes, Skeeticus.
[scene goes to Skeeticus doing a jumping trick in a Roman chariot.]
Skeeticus: Can you dig it!
Skeeter Bronson: And then…
Patrick: It started raining gum balls.

Skeeter Bronson: Last night I told my sister’s kids a bedtime story and it came true.
Wendy: Skeeter?
Skeeter Bronson: Sis…
Wendy: I’m getting laid off. I have a couple interviews set up in Arizona. I need you to watch the kids.
Skeeter Bronson: I’ll do it, but you gotta say, “Skeeter is the coolest. I am a nerd.”
Wendy: Skeeter is the coolest. I am a nerd.
Skeeter Bronson: Yeah you are!