Kirk Lazarus: I know who I am! I’m the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude! 

Alpa Chino: Maybe I just knew I had to represent… 
Kirk Lazarus: Hot damn! 
Alpa Chino: …because they had one good part in there for a *black* man, and they gave it to “Crocodile Dundee”! 
Kirk Lazarus: [offended] Pump your brakes kid, that man’s a national treasure. 
Alpa Chino: I’m sorry a dingo ate your baby! 
Kirk Lazarus: You about to cross some fuckin’ line! 

Kirk Lazarus:
 I’m a lead farmer, mother fucker! 

Kirk Lazarus:
 Yo, assholes, this mother fucker’s dead! 
Tugg Speedman: [picks up severed head] I think I can spot a prop head when I see one! 
[people around him gag while he plays with the head]

 

Quotes 
Tracey Berkowitz: I kinda like to ride a different bus every night depending on my mood. Like, if I’m depressed, I enjoy being around other depressed people. And happy people, they frickin depress me! You know? 


Tracey Berkowitz: Look, the other day, something happened. I came to certain realizations. I can’t tell you what or you’ll end up like me, on this bus, looking for someone. 

 


Tracey Berkowitz: I don’t like the country. Creeps me out. In the country, dead bodies live in swamps, and ditches, and shallow graves. A man dumps the body of a girl in a ditch. The body rotts; Melts into slime. Flowers pop up where the body lies, seeds fly out of the flowers, and a bee sucks the flowers and makes honey. And then the family of the girl buys the honey from the store. And the family eats the girl. 

 


Tracey Berkowitz: When a horse falls, foam comes out of its mouth. When it falls, the legs of the horse thrash and the horse is no good… So somebody shoots it. The horse turns into glue. A machine puts the glue into bottles and children squeeze the bottles to get the glue out and stick bits of paper onto cards. Glue gets on the children’s hands and the children eat the glue. And the children become the horse. 

 


Dr. Heker: Why don’t you go home? Go home. 

 


Tracey Berkowitz: My name is Tracey Berkowitz. Fifteen. Just a normal girl who hates herself. 

 


Tracey Berkowitz: When things happen to people, they radiate a light. Because they have a picture caught inside them. Because they were there and you weren’t. And because you only got a piece. And because all you can do is shrink and blow up that one tiny piece. 

 


Tracey Berkowitz: Doctor Hecker, my psychiatrist. She only cares about the, like, 80 bucks an hour she’s paid, or whatever, to prevent me from turning into a psycho. Well… it’s kinda too late for that. 

 


Tracey Berkowitz: It really isn’t my fault. I absolutely had to run away. Like, my Dad, he’s always saying that I exaggerate. You know? He’s always like, ‘Tracey, I don’t know what to believe and what not to believe.’ But how do you know what’s real and what’s not when the whole world is inside your head? 

 


Tracey Berkowitz: He stuck his cock in me and said I love you, in that exact order. Now I’m not afraid to die. ‘Cause like birds and bees and bugs, they all die after they fuck. 

 


Tracey Berkowitz: This is the story of the girl with no tits. Went to my school. No tits. Big dumb moon face. 

 


Tracey Berkowitz: Look, I’m not what you think. I’m not junk, I’m not a dink. I’m not garbage flowers you leave to rot and stink, and smell, and curl up all dry and papery so they crumble as crusty as the flowers on this fucked up shower curtain.

The Notebook (2004)

August 14, 2008

Young Noah: Will you go out with me? 
Young Allie: What? No. 
Young Noah: No…? 
Young Allie: No. 
Young Noah: Why not? 
Young Allie: I dunno, because I don’t want to. 
Young Noah: OK, then you leave me no other choice. 
Young Allie: AHHHH 
Young Noah: I’m gonna ask you one more time, will you or will you not go out with me? I think my hand’s slipping. 
Young Allie: OK, OK. Fine I’ll go out with you 
Young Noah: No, don’t do me any favors. 
Young Allie: No, no I want to. 
Young Noah: Say it. 
Young Allie: I wanna go out with you. 
Young Noah: Say it again. 
Young Allie: I WANNA GO OUT WITH YOU! 
Young Noah: All right, all right we’ll go out. 


Young Allie: [lying in the middle of the street] What happens if a car comes? 
Young Noah: We die. 

 


Young Noah: Get in the water. 
Young Allie: No! I’m scared. 
Young Noah: [yelling] Get in the water, woman! Get in the water! 
Young Allie: [looks at him, puzzled
Young Noah: [calmly] No I’m sorry baby, please just get in. 
Young Allie: [hesitates
Young Noah: [once his friends start yelling again] GET IN THE WATER! 

 


Young Allie: Painting. 
Young Noah: What? 
Young Allie: You asked me, what I do for me… 
Young Noah: What now? 
Young Allie: I love to paint. 
Young Noah: Really? 
Young Allie: Mmm-hmm. Most of the time I have all these thoughts bouncin’ around in my head… but with a brush in my hand, the world just gets kinda quiet. 

 


Young Noah: Unbelievable, Unbelievable. 

 


Young Noah: You don’t know me, but I know me. 

 


Young Noah: It’s not about following your heart and it’s not about keeping your promises. It’s about security. 
Young Allie: What’s that supposed to mean? 
Young Noah: [yelling] Money. He’s got a lot of money! 
Young Allie: You smug bastard. I hate you for saying that. 
Young Noah: You’re bored Allie. You’re bored and you know it. You wouldn’t be here if there wasn’t something missing. 
Young Allie: You arrogant son of a bitch. 
Young Noah: Would you just stay with me? 
Young Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we’re already fightin’ 
Young Noah: Well that’s what we do, we fight… You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you’re back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing. 
Young Allie: So what? 
Young Noah: So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What’s it look like? If it’s with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that’s what you really wanted. But don’t you take the easy way out. 
Young Allie: What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt. 
Young Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT? 
Young Allie: It’s not that simple. 
Young Noah: What… do… you… want? Whaddaya want? 
Young Allie: I have to go now. 

 


Young Allie: When I’m with Noah I feel like one person and when I’m with you I feel like someone totally different. 
Lon: Allie, it’s normal not to forget your first love but I want you for myself. I don’t want to convince my fiancée that she should be with me. 
Young Allie: You don’t have to. I already know I should be with you. 

 


Fin: [after Noah and Allie kept saying ‘You look great.’
[to Allie
Fin: You look great. 
[to Noah
Fin: You look great. And I know I look great. 

 


Martha Shaw: Look, a woman know when a man looks into her eyes and sees someone else. 
Young Noah: Now you know that I want to give you all the things that you want, right? But I can’t, because they’re gone… They’re broken. 

 


Young Noah: My Dearest Allie. I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you. Noah 

 


Noah: I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough. 

 


Young Allie: Why didn’t you write me? Why? It wasn’t over for me, I waited for you for seven years. But now it’s too late. 
Young Noah: I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everyday for a year. 
Young Allie: You wrote me? 
Young Noah: Yes… it wasn’t over, it still isn’t over 
[kisses Allie

 


Duke: That’s my sweetheart in there. Wherever she is, that’s where my home is. 

 


Duke: How’s it hangin’ Harry? 
Harry: I keep trying to die, but they won’t let me. 
Duke: Well, you can’t have everything. 

 


Young Noah: You wanna walk with me. 
Fin: What are you guys doing? Get in! 
Young Allie: Yeah. 
Young Noah: We’re gonna walk. 
Fin: Do you guys love each other? 
[Young Noah snickers
Fin: Oh I get it, you guys do love each other! 
Young Noah: Okay. Goodbye. 

 


Young Noah: So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday. 

 


Frank: [Allie painted Noah a picture] Now that’s a damn picture there! 

 


Young Noah: What am I gonna do in New York? 
Young Allie: …Be with me. 

 


Lon: Should I be worried? 

 


Allie: They fell in love, didn’t they? 
Duke: Yes, they did. 

 


Young Noah: It’s not about keeping your promises, and it’s not about following your heart. It’s about security. 

 


Young Noah: [to Martha] You know I want to give you everything you want. But I can’t. It’s broken. 

 


Young Allie: Now, say you’re a bird. 
Young Noah: If you’re a bird, I’m a bird. 

 


Frank: [Allie painted Noah a picture] Now that’s a damn painting that is. 

 


Young Noah: [raising fists in air] Dad! God… I stammered! 
Frank: Stammered, stuttered… what’s the difference. You couldn’t understand a damn thing he said. 
[Allie laughing
Frank: Anyway, I got him to read some poetry aloud and pretty soon his stuttering went away. 
Young Allie: Well, that’s a good idea that poetry. 

 


Duke: I was just going for a walk. I couldn’t sleep. 
Nurse Esther: You were going to see Miss Allie. Now you know you’re not allowed. It’s against the rules. You go back to your room. And as for me, I’m going downstairs to get a cup of coffee and won’t be back for a while. Stay out of trouble. 
[Duke walks over to Nurse Esther’s counter and sees a full cup of coffee

 


Young Noah: We can just finish out the summer and see what happens then. 
Young Allie: Please don’t do this, you don’t mean it. Oh why wait until the summer ends? Why don’t you do it right now?
[pushes Noah against car
Young Allie: Huh? C’mon. Do it! Do it! 
[repeatedly pushes Noah, starts hitting Noah, Noah starts hitting himself
Young Allie: You know what? I’m gonna do it! It’s over. Okay? it’s over. 
Young Noah: [opens his arms for a hug] Come here. 
Young Allie: Don’t touch me! I hate you! I hate you! 
Young Noah: OK, I’m going. 
Young Allie: Why don’t you just go then? 
[pushes Noah in the car
Young Allie: Get out! Leave! 
[kicks Noah’s car
Young Allie: Go!… No, no, just wait a minute, we’re not really breaking up are we? Come on. This is just a fight we’re having and tomorrow will be like it never happend right? 
[Noah drives away

 


Frank: Well, Mr. Calho… What am I? *Old* or something? You can call me Frank. 

 


Allie: Do you think our love can make miracles? 
Duke: I do. 

 


[last lines
Allie: Do you think our love, can take us away together? 
Duke: I think our love can do anything we want it to. 
Allie: I love you. 
Duke: I love you, Allie. 
Allie: Good night. 
Duke: Good night. I’ll be seeing you. 

 


Frank: Say, how would you like some breakfast? Would you like some breakfast? 
Young Allie: Breakfast? 
Frank: Yeah! 
Young Noah: Dad, it’s ten o’clock. 
Frank: Well, what’s that got to do with it, you can have pancakes any damn time of night you want! Come on in, you want some breakfast? 
Young Allie: Sure! 

 


Young Noah: You’re gonna kill me woman! I need sleep, I need food, to regain my strength! 

 


Duke: They didn’t agree on much. In fact they rarely agreed on anything. They fought all the time and they challenged each other everyday… 
Young Noah: [Allie and Noah are fighting] Don’t push me! 
[Allie pushes Noah anyway
Duke: …But in spite their differences, they had one important thing in common, they were crazy about each other. 

 


Anne: She is out foolin’ around with that boy until two o’clock in the morning and it has got to stop! I didn’t spend seventeen years of my life raising a daughter and giving her EVERYTHING, so she could throw it away on a summer romance! 
Young Allie: [Screaming] DADDY! 
Anne: She will wind up with her heart broken or pregnant! Now he’s a nice boy, but he’s… 
Young Allie: He’s WHAT? He is what? Tell me! 
Anne: He is trash! Trash! Trash! Not for you! 

 


Allie: Did you write that? 
Duke: No, that was Walt Whitman. 
Allie: I think I knew him… 
Duke: I think you did too. 

 


Noah: Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They’re shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they’re gone. 

 


Young Noah: [humming] Bum,bum,bum,bum,bum,bum,bum,bum,bum,bum,bum,bum. 
Young Allie: [laughing] You’re a terrible singer. 
Young Noah: I know. 
Young Allie: [laying her head on his shoulder] But I like this song. 
[they continue dancing in the street to I’ll Be Seeing You

 


Young Allie: Whattaya want? 
[asks after he tells her he needs to regain his strength after making love all day
Young Noah: I want some… pancakes… and some bacon. 

 


Noah: …He got this notion into his head that if he restore the old house where they had come that night, Allie would find a way to go back to him… 

 


Anne: ‘Cause I might know you a little better than you think. And I don’t want you waking up one morning thinking if you’d known everything you might have done something different. 

 


Young Allie: What’s going on? 
Anne: We’re going home. 
Young Allie: We’re leaving now? 
Anne: Mm-hmm. 
Young Allie: No, we’re not supposed to be leaving for another week. 
Anne: Get dressed, come downstairs and have some breakfast. Willa will pack your things. 
Willa: Why, I’d be happy to pack your things, Miss Allie. 
Young Allie: No, I don’t want you to pack my things, I don’t want you to touch my stuff I’m not going! 
Anne: Yes, you are. 

 


Young Noah: When I see something I like, I gotta… I love it. 

 


Young Allie: You gotta be kiddin me. All this time, that’s what I’ve been missin’? Let’s do it again. 

 


Young Noah: [at the Carnival] Who’s that girl with Sara? 
Fin: Her name is Allie Hamilton. She’s here for the summer with her family. Dad’s got more money than God. 

 


Young Allie: This place is gigantic! 
Young Noah: Yeah, a gigantic piece of crap! 

 


Young Noah: I’m Noah Calhoun. 
Young Allie: So? 
Young Noah: So it’s really nice to meet you. 
Edmond: Allie, who is this guy? 
Young Allie: I don’t know, Noah Calhoun. 

 


Young Noah: I’m not usually like this, I’m sorry. 
Young Allie: Oh yes you are. 
Young Noah: I could be fun, if you want. I could be pensive, uhh… smart, supersticious, brave? And I, uhh, I can be light on my feet. I could be whatever you want. You just tell me what you want, and I’m gonna be that for you. 
Young Allie: …You’re dumb. 
Young Noah: I could be that. 
Young Noah: Come on, one date, what’s it gonna hurt? 
Young Allie: Mmm, I don’t think so. 
Young Noah: Well what can I do to change your mind? 

 


Young Allie: [Noah is about to lie down in the street intersection] You’re gonna get hit. 
Young Noah: [Looks around for oncoming cars, there aren’t any in sight] Uhh, by all the cars? 

 


[first lines
Nurse Selma: Excuse me. Come on, honey, let’s get you ready for bed

 

Sean: [running from a dinosaur] Haven’t you ever seen a dinosaur before? 
Trevor: Not with skin on it! 

[from trailer
Trevor: [in complete awe] Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the center of the Earth. 

[Sean and Trevor have fallen behind Hannah, tired of climbing
Sean: I call dibs on the mountain climber. 
Trevor: What? You’re thirteen; you can’t call dibs. 

Trevor: [as they are climbing] Hey, look at all the shist. 
Sean: What? 
Trevor: It’s a metamorphic rock. Green shist, white shist, micro-guarded shist- 
Sean: Oh. Shist. 

Hannah Ásgeirsson: [all climbing down] Just make conversation with me Sean. 
Sean: So, uh, Hannah. Do you come here often? 
Trevor: [laughs] That can’t be the best you can do! 
Sean: [yells] Hey! I’m trying to make converstation! 
Hannah Ásgeirsson: It’s OK. No Sean, I don’t come here often. 
[laughs

Trevor: [sees Sean playing a PSP] What is that? A… Gameboy? 
Sean: PSP. 

Trevor: [holds up Max’s yo-yo] This was your old man’s PSP. 

Sean: [seeing a deserted field in the center of the Earth] Dang, I wish I read that book.

 

Swing Vote (2008)

August 12, 2008

 

Bud Johnson: America needs someone who’s bigger than their speeches. 

Bud Johnson:
 You guys protect the President! 
Lewis: She’s… she’s smarter. 

Bud Johnson:
 I know exactly what you mean Andy. 
President Andrew Boone: Do you? 
Bud Johnson: Maybe not… 

 

 

 

Doomsday (2008)

August 11, 2008

 

Bill Nelson: Once you’re over that wall, there’s no rules, no back-up. 
Eden Sinclair: Better that way. 

Eden Sinclair: What were you doing in the city? 
Cally: I went to find my brother… Sol. 
Eden Sinclair: That maniac is your brother? 
Norton: That is one fucked up family, man. Kane: So, tell me, what’s it like out there now? 

Eden Sinclair: What do you care? 
Kane: I’m curious. 
Eden Sinclair: Same shit, different era.

 

Mutt Williams: You know, for an old man you ain’t bad in a fight. What are you, like 80? 

Mutt Williams:
 Get on, Gramps! 

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko:
 You fight like a young man; eager to start and quick to finish. 

Mutt Williams:
 [Irinka Spalko holds sword up to Mutt’s neck] Woah! Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop, stop! 
Mutt Williams: [grabs comb out of pocket and combs hair] I’m ready. 
[to Indy
Mutt Williams: Don’t give these pigs a thing. 

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko:
 Belief, Dr. Jones, is a gift you have yet to receive. My sympathies. 
Indiana Jones: Oh, I believe, sister. That’s why I’m down here. 

Mutt Williams:
 Oh, it’s just a thing. 

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko:
 No defiant last words, Dr. Jones? 
Indiana Jones: I like Ike. 

Mutt Williams:
 I don’t understand. Why the legend about the city of gold? 
Indiana Jones: Well, the word for ‘gold’ translates as ‘treasure.’ But their treasure wasn’t gold, it was knowledge. Knowledge was their treasure. 

Mac:
 You broke my nose! 
Indiana Jones: I warned you. 

Mac:
 Jonesy! 
[Indiana punches Mac in the face

[Indiana realizes he’s in a nuclear testing site when sirens begin wailing
Indiana Jones: That can’t be good. That can’t be good at all. 

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko:
 This warehouse, where you and your government have hidden all of your secrets. Yes? 
Indiana Jones: This is a military warehouse. I’ve never been here before in my life. 

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko:
 Don’t toy with me, Doctor Jones! What is the point of all this? 
Indiana Jones: If it’s still magnetic, the metal in this gun powder should point the way. 

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko:
 [Irina has Marion and Indiana hostage] So Dr. Jones, you will help us? 
[a soldier cocks a pistol and points it at Marion’s back
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: A simple ‘Yes’ will do. 
Indiana Jones: Oh, Marion, you had to go and get yourself kidnapped. 
Marion Ravenwood: Not like you did any better. 
Indiana Jones: Same old, same old. 

Indiana Jones:
 Marion, take the wheel! 
Mutt Williams: That’s not fair, she drove the truck! 
Indiana Jones: Don’t be a child. Find something to fight with! 

Indiana Jones:
 Drop dead! 
[Dovchenko punches him in the face
Indiana Jones: I’m sorry; I meant, “Drop dead, *comrade*.” 

Marion Ravenwood:
 I’m sure I wasn’t the only one to go on with my life. There must have been plenty of women for you over the years. 
Indiana Jones: There were a few. But they all had the same problem. 
Marion Ravenwood: Yeah, what’s that? 
Indiana Jones: They weren’t you, honey. 

Indiana Jones:
 [on seeing the Crystal Skull] Un-believable! 

Indiana Jones:
 So what are you, some kind of… triple agent? 
Mac: Nah. I just lied about being a double. 

Indiana Jones:
 You want to be a good archaeologist… 
[Mutt drives them out of the building on his motorcycle
Indiana Jones: …you’ve got to get out of the library! 

Indiana Jones:
 [stuck in quicksand] Oxley, go get help! 
Professor ‘Ox’ Oxley: Help? 
Indiana Jones: Help! 
Professor ‘Ox’ Oxley: Help! 
[runs into the trees searching for help
Indiana Jones: [surrounded by Russian soldiers after getting pulled out of the sandpit by Mutt] Thanks Ox… 
Professor ‘Ox’ Oxley: [points at the Russians] Help. 

Indiana Jones:
 Careful, you may get exactly what you wish for. 
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: I usually do. 

Marion Ravenwood:
 Mutt can be a little impetuous. 
Indiana Jones: Well it’s not the worse quality in the world. 
[Indy and Marion sink further into the ground
Indiana Jones: Keep your arms above the surface. When the kid comes back, grab on. 
Marion Ravenwood: Indy, he… 
Indiana Jones: He’s a good kid Marion. You should get off his back about school. Not everybody is cut out for it. 
Marion Ravenwood: Mutt I mean, his name is Henry. 
Indiana Jones: Henry. Good name. 
Marion Ravenwood: He’s your son. 
Indiana Jones: My son? 
Marion Ravenwood: Henry Jones the III. 
Indiana Jones: [beat] Why the hell didn’t you make him finish school? 

Indiana Jones:
 Leave it to Ox to write a riddle in a dead language. 

Indiana Jones:
 [crashes into a truck windshield after a failed swing from his whip] Damn, I thought that was closer… . 
[Mac holds his hands up while they are surrounded by Russian soldiers
Indiana Jones: Put your hands down will you, you’re embarrassing us. 
Mutt Williams: Name’s Mutt. Mutt Williams. 
Indiana Jones: Mutt? 
Mutt Williams: Yeah. 
Indiana Jones: What kind of name is that? 
Mutt Williams: It’s the one I picked. You got a problem with it? 
Indiana Jones: Take it easy. 

Mutt Williams:
 [to Indy] Hey Daddio! 

Mutt Williams:
 A scorpion just stung me, am I gonna die? 
Indiana Jones: How big? 
Mutt Williams: Huge! 
Indiana Jones: Good. 
Mutt Williams: Good? 
Indiana Jones: When it comes to scorpions, the bigger the better. Small one bites ya, don’t keep it to yourself. 

[Mutt pops open his switchblade, ready to fight two KGB agents
Indiana Jones: Nice try kid, but it looks like you brought a knife… 
[both agents pull out guns
Indiana Jones: …to a gun fight. 

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko:
 Do svidanya, Dr. Jones. 

Indiana Jones:
 It depends on who your god is. 

Mac:
 Stop the car! Stop! You don’t know him! You don’t know him! 

Mac:
 We were younger. 
Indiana Jones: We had guns! 

Indiana Jones:
 How did Deidra take the news? 
Dean Charles Stanforth: How does any wife take such things… a look on her face is a combination of pride and panic. 

Dean Charles Stanforth:
 I barely recognize this country anymore; the government has us seeing communists in our soup. 

Dean Charles Stanforth:
 We seem to have reached the age where life stops giving us things and starts taking them away. 

Indiana Jones:
 Who is your mother, again? 
Mutt Williams: Mary, Mary Williams. You don’t remember her? 
Indiana Jones: There’ve been a lot of Marys, kid. 
Mutt Williams: [draws switchblade] Hey! That’s my mother you’re talking about! 

Mutt Williams:
 Well, what’s he gonna do now? 
Marion Ravenwood: I don’t think he plans that far ahead. 
Mutt Williams: Yeah… 
Indiana Jones: [pops out from the inside of the truck with a bazooka] Scooch over, will ya, Son? 
Mutt Williams: Don’t call me ‘Son’. Don’t. 
Indiana Jones: [ignoring Mutt’s complaint] I think I’d cover my ears if I were you! 
[Indy fires a rocket at a giant tree cutter, but it sends the large circular blade bouncing straight for them, cutting through other trucks as it goes
Indiana Jones: *Duck!* 

Indiana Jones:
 You’re not from around here, are you? 
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: And ‘vere’ do you think I am from? 
Indiana Jones: Well, judging by the way you’re sinking your teeth into those ‘wubble-yous’, I’d say Eastern Ukraine. 

Indiana Jones:
 Why don’t you stick around, Junior? 
Mutt Williams: [chuckles] I don’t know. Why didn’t you, Dad? 
Professor ‘Ox’ Oxley: [scoffs] Dad… 
[gives Indy a questioning look
Professor ‘Ox’ Oxley: Dad? 
Indiana Jones: Somewhere your Grandpa is laughing. 

Mutt Williams:
 You’re a *teacher?* 
Indiana Jones: Part-time. 

Mutt Williams:
 Look, Professor, it really *is* a dead end. 
Indiana Jones: [after climbing on the rock and noticing that it shifts with force, tilting it first away, and then back to Mutt, with a grin] Come on, genius. 

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: I want to know! 

Indiana Jones:
 I need a compass. Compass! 
[the Soviet soldiers stand perplexed
Indiana Jones: You know! North, South, East! 
Mac: West. 

Indiana Jones:
 Ox, I understand now… Someone came. 

Indiana Jones:
 I need your bullets. 

Indiana Jones:
 I have to return the Skull to Akator. 
Mutt Williams: Are you nuts? It’s brought us nothing but trouble! Look what it did to *him*.. 
[points to Oxley
Indiana Jones: I have to return it. 
Marion Ravenwood: Why you? 
Indiana Jones: Because it told me to. 

Mutt Williams:
 Is that a spaceship? 
Professor ‘Ox’ Oxley: A portal, to another dimension. 
Indiana Jones: Don’t think we want to go that way… 

Professor ‘Ox’ Oxley: Well done, Henry! 
Indiana Jones, Mutt Williams: Thanks, Ox. 

Mutt Williams:
 [as Indy sinks in a quicksand-esque substance, he is passed a long snake] Grab on! It’s a rat snake! 
Indiana Jones: Rat snakes aren’t that big! 
Mutt Williams: Well this one is, all right? It’s not even poisonous! Now grab on! 
Indiana Jones: Go get something else! 
Mutt Williams: Like what? 
Indiana Jones: Like a rope or something! 
Mutt Williams: There’s no Sears & Roebuck here! Grab the snake! 
Indiana Jones: Maybe I can touch the bottom. 
Marion Ravenwood: There is no bottom! Now grab it! Grab the snake! 
Indiana Jones: I think I can feel it with my feet 
Mutt Williams: Grab the snake! 
Indiana Jones: Stop calling it that! 
Mutt Williams: It’s a snake, what do you want me to call it?! 
Indiana Jones: A rope! 
Mutt Williams: What? 
Indiana Jones: Say “Grab the rope”! 
Mutt Williams, Marion Ravenwood: Grab the rope! 

Indiana Jones:
 You’re not from around here are you? 
Agent Irina Spalko: [taking off her glasses] And where would you imagine I am from Dr. Jones? 
Indiana Jones: Well the way you’re sinking your teeth into those W’s I should think maybe… Eastern Ukraine. 

Indiana Jones:
 [jumping out of the car] Big damn ants, go! 

Indiana Jones:
 That can’t be good… 
Speaker Voice: All personnel, it is now one minute to zero time. Put on goggles or turn away. Do not remove goggles or face burst until ten seconds after first light. 
Indiana Jones: Oh, that can’t be good at all… 

Indiana Jones: I’ve got a bad feeling about this. 

Marion Ravenwood:
 So, you still living in a trail of human wreckage or have you retired? 
Indiana Jones: Why, you’re looking for a date? 
Marion Ravenwood: Anyone but you!