Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

 

Mutt Williams: You know, for an old man you ain’t bad in a fight. What are you, like 80? 

Mutt Williams: Get on, Gramps! 

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: You fight like a young man; eager to start and quick to finish. 

Mutt Williams: [Irinka Spalko holds sword up to Mutt's neck] Woah! Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop, stop! 
Mutt Williams: [grabs comb out of pocket and combs hair] I’m ready. 
[to Indy] 
Mutt Williams: Don’t give these pigs a thing. 

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: Belief, Dr. Jones, is a gift you have yet to receive. My sympathies. 
Indiana Jones: Oh, I believe, sister. That’s why I’m down here. 

Mutt Williams: Oh, it’s just a thing. 

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: No defiant last words, Dr. Jones? 
Indiana Jones: I like Ike. 

Mutt Williams: I don’t understand. Why the legend about the city of gold? 
Indiana Jones: Well, the word for ‘gold’ translates as ‘treasure.’ But their treasure wasn’t gold, it was knowledge. Knowledge was their treasure. 

Mac: You broke my nose! 
Indiana Jones: I warned you. 

Mac: Jonesy! 
[Indiana punches Mac in the face] 

[Indiana realizes he's in a nuclear testing site when sirens begin wailing] 
Indiana Jones: That can’t be good. That can’t be good at all. 

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: This warehouse, where you and your government have hidden all of your secrets. Yes? 
Indiana Jones: This is a military warehouse. I’ve never been here before in my life. 

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: Don’t toy with me, Doctor Jones! What is the point of all this? 
Indiana Jones: If it’s still magnetic, the metal in this gun powder should point the way. 

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: [Irina has Marion and Indiana hostage] So Dr. Jones, you will help us? 
[a soldier cocks a pistol and points it at Marion's back] 
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: A simple ‘Yes’ will do. 
Indiana Jones: Oh, Marion, you had to go and get yourself kidnapped. 
Marion Ravenwood: Not like you did any better. 
Indiana Jones: Same old, same old. 

Indiana Jones: Marion, take the wheel! 
Mutt Williams: That’s not fair, she drove the truck! 
Indiana Jones: Don’t be a child. Find something to fight with! 

Indiana Jones: Drop dead! 
[Dovchenko punches him in the face] 
Indiana Jones: I’m sorry; I meant, “Drop dead, *comrade*.” 

Marion Ravenwood: I’m sure I wasn’t the only one to go on with my life. There must have been plenty of women for you over the years. 
Indiana Jones: There were a few. But they all had the same problem. 
Marion Ravenwood: Yeah, what’s that? 
Indiana Jones: They weren’t you, honey. 

Indiana Jones: [on seeing the Crystal Skull] Un-believable! 

Indiana Jones: So what are you, some kind of… triple agent? 
Mac: Nah. I just lied about being a double. 

Indiana Jones: You want to be a good archaeologist… 
[Mutt drives them out of the building on his motorcycle] 
Indiana Jones: …you’ve got to get out of the library! 

Indiana Jones: [stuck in quicksand] Oxley, go get help! 
Professor ‘Ox’ Oxley: Help? 
Indiana Jones: Help! 
Professor ‘Ox’ Oxley: Help! 
[runs into the trees searching for help] 
Indiana Jones: [surrounded by Russian soldiers after getting pulled out of the sandpit by Mutt] Thanks Ox… 
Professor ‘Ox’ Oxley: [points at the Russians] Help. 

Indiana Jones: Careful, you may get exactly what you wish for. 
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: I usually do. 

Marion Ravenwood: Mutt can be a little impetuous. 
Indiana Jones: Well it’s not the worse quality in the world. 
[Indy and Marion sink further into the ground] 
Indiana Jones: Keep your arms above the surface. When the kid comes back, grab on. 
Marion Ravenwood: Indy, he… 
Indiana Jones: He’s a good kid Marion. You should get off his back about school. Not everybody is cut out for it. 
Marion Ravenwood: Mutt I mean, his name is Henry. 
Indiana Jones: Henry. Good name. 
Marion Ravenwood: He’s your son. 
Indiana Jones: My son? 
Marion Ravenwood: Henry Jones the III. 
Indiana Jones: [beat] Why the hell didn’t you make him finish school? 

Indiana Jones: Leave it to Ox to write a riddle in a dead language. 

Indiana Jones: [crashes into a truck windshield after a failed swing from his whip] Damn, I thought that was closer… . 
[Mac holds his hands up while they are surrounded by Russian soldiers] 
Indiana Jones: Put your hands down will you, you’re embarrassing us. 
Mutt Williams: Name’s Mutt. Mutt Williams. 
Indiana Jones: Mutt? 
Mutt Williams: Yeah. 
Indiana Jones: What kind of name is that? 
Mutt Williams: It’s the one I picked. You got a problem with it? 
Indiana Jones: Take it easy. 

Mutt Williams: [to Indy] Hey Daddio! 

Mutt Williams: A scorpion just stung me, am I gonna die? 
Indiana Jones: How big? 
Mutt Williams: Huge! 
Indiana Jones: Good. 
Mutt Williams: Good? 
Indiana Jones: When it comes to scorpions, the bigger the better. Small one bites ya, don’t keep it to yourself. 

[Mutt pops open his switchblade, ready to fight two KGB agents] 
Indiana Jones: Nice try kid, but it looks like you brought a knife… 
[both agents pull out guns] 
Indiana Jones: …to a gun fight. 

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: Do svidanya, Dr. Jones. 

Indiana Jones: It depends on who your god is. 

Mac: Stop the car! Stop! You don’t know him! You don’t know him! 

Mac: We were younger. 
Indiana Jones: We had guns! 

Indiana Jones: How did Deidra take the news? 
Dean Charles Stanforth: How does any wife take such things… a look on her face is a combination of pride and panic. 

Dean Charles Stanforth: I barely recognize this country anymore; the government has us seeing communists in our soup. 

Dean Charles Stanforth: We seem to have reached the age where life stops giving us things and starts taking them away. 

Indiana Jones: Who is your mother, again? 
Mutt Williams: Mary, Mary Williams. You don’t remember her? 
Indiana Jones: There’ve been a lot of Marys, kid. 
Mutt Williams: [draws switchblade] Hey! That’s my mother you’re talking about! 

Mutt Williams: Well, what’s he gonna do now? 
Marion Ravenwood: I don’t think he plans that far ahead. 
Mutt Williams: Yeah… 
Indiana Jones: [pops out from the inside of the truck with a bazooka] Scooch over, will ya, Son? 
Mutt Williams: Don’t call me ‘Son’. Don’t. 
Indiana Jones: [ignoring Mutt's complaint] I think I’d cover my ears if I were you! 
[Indy fires a rocket at a giant tree cutter, but it sends the large circular blade bouncing straight for them, cutting through other trucks as it goes] 
Indiana Jones: *Duck!* 

Indiana Jones: You’re not from around here, are you? 
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: And ‘vere’ do you think I am from? 
Indiana Jones: Well, judging by the way you’re sinking your teeth into those ‘wubble-yous’, I’d say Eastern Ukraine. 

Indiana Jones: Why don’t you stick around, Junior? 
Mutt Williams: [chuckles] I don’t know. Why didn’t you, Dad? 
Professor ‘Ox’ Oxley: [scoffs] Dad… 
[gives Indy a questioning look] 
Professor ‘Ox’ Oxley: Dad? 
Indiana Jones: Somewhere your Grandpa is laughing. 

Mutt Williams: You’re a *teacher?* 
Indiana Jones: Part-time. 

Mutt Williams: Look, Professor, it really *is* a dead end. 
Indiana Jones: [after climbing on the rock and noticing that it shifts with force, tilting it first away, and then back to Mutt, with a grin] Come on, genius. 

Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: I want to know! 

Indiana Jones: I need a compass. Compass! 
[the Soviet soldiers stand perplexed] 
Indiana Jones: You know! North, South, East! 
Mac: West. 

Indiana Jones: Ox, I understand now… Someone came. 

Indiana Jones: I need your bullets. 

Indiana Jones: I have to return the Skull to Akator. 
Mutt Williams: Are you nuts? It’s brought us nothing but trouble! Look what it did to *him*.. 
[points to Oxley] 
Indiana Jones: I have to return it. 
Marion Ravenwood: Why you? 
Indiana Jones: Because it told me to. 

Mutt Williams: Is that a spaceship? 
Professor ‘Ox’ Oxley: A portal, to another dimension. 
Indiana Jones: Don’t think we want to go that way… 

Professor ‘Ox’ Oxley: Well done, Henry! 
Indiana Jones, Mutt Williams: Thanks, Ox. 

Mutt Williams: [as Indy sinks in a quicksand-esque substance, he is passed a long snake] Grab on! It’s a rat snake! 
Indiana Jones: Rat snakes aren’t that big! 
Mutt Williams: Well this one is, all right? It’s not even poisonous! Now grab on! 
Indiana Jones: Go get something else! 
Mutt Williams: Like what? 
Indiana Jones: Like a rope or something! 
Mutt Williams: There’s no Sears & Roebuck here! Grab the snake! 
Indiana Jones: Maybe I can touch the bottom. 
Marion Ravenwood: There is no bottom! Now grab it! Grab the snake! 
Indiana Jones: I think I can feel it with my feet 
Mutt Williams: Grab the snake! 
Indiana Jones: Stop calling it that! 
Mutt Williams: It’s a snake, what do you want me to call it?! 
Indiana Jones: A rope! 
Mutt Williams: What? 
Indiana Jones: Say “Grab the rope”! 
Mutt Williams, Marion Ravenwood: Grab the rope! 

Indiana Jones: You’re not from around here are you? 
Agent Irina Spalko: [taking off her glasses] And where would you imagine I am from Dr. Jones? 
Indiana Jones: Well the way you’re sinking your teeth into those W’s I should think maybe… Eastern Ukraine. 

Indiana Jones: [jumping out of the car] Big damn ants, go! 

Indiana Jones: That can’t be good… 
Speaker Voice: All personnel, it is now one minute to zero time. Put on goggles or turn away. Do not remove goggles or face burst until ten seconds after first light. 
Indiana Jones: Oh, that can’t be good at all… 

Indiana Jones: I’ve got a bad feeling about this. 

Marion Ravenwood: So, you still living in a trail of human wreckage or have you retired? 
Indiana Jones: Why, you’re looking for a date? 
Marion Ravenwood: Anyone but you! 

 

The X Files: I Want to Believe (2008)

Fox Mulder: Are you asking me to give up? 
Dana Scully: No. No, I can’t ask you to do that… But I can tell you I won’t be coming home tonight. 

ana Scully: Can you hear me? 
Fox Mulder: [drugged] Sorry about your car. 

Dana Scully: Listen to me! I need your help! 
Agent Mosley Drummy: I’m sorry. I – I can’t help you. 
Dana Scully: Then let me talk to somebody there with some balls who can. 

Fox Mulder: I can feel you thinking. 
Dana Scully: Sorry. I can’t sleep. 
Fox Mulder: Actually, I have a little something for that. 
Dana Scully: Just a little something? 
Fox Mulder: Thank you. 

Agent Mosley Drummy: I don’t believe this. 
Fox Mulder: You know, that’s been your problem from the very beginning. 

Dana Scully: What are you doing? 
Fox Mulder: Trying to ignore you. 

 

  

Step Brothers (2008)

 

Dale Doback: Barbara Walters, Oprah, your wife. You gotta fuck one, kill one, and marry one, go! 

Dale Doback: [as they are called back into the office for their first interview] We’re here to fuck shit up! 

Brennan Huff: Robert better not get in my face… ’cause I’ll drop that motherfucker! 

Brennan Huff: I’m going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you! 

Derek: So, what do we do now? 
Brennan Huff: Can we hug? 
Derek: Yeah, you’d like that, you faggot!… I’m sorry, I’m new to this. 

Brennan Huff: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls! 

Dale Doback: [after hearing Brennan sing] You have the voice of an angel. I mean, it’s like Fergie meets Jesus. 

Brennan Huff: I have a belly full of white dog crap, and now you lay this shit on me? 

Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison! 
Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit! 
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks! 

Brennan Huff: [to Dale] You’re a big, fat, curly-headed fuck! 

Brennan Huff: Shut your mouth. Sh-sh-shut your mouth. 

Brennan Huff: Eat shit Derek! 

Brennan Huff: [in his therapist's fantasy] I’ve come five hundred miles to deliver my seed. 

 

Dale Doback: [both waking up from dreams on top of each other] Oh no, I’m late for school. 

Brennan Huff: I’ll kiss you on the lips, Kenny Rodgers. 

Brennan Huff: I tea-bagged your drum set! 

Brennan Huff: This wedding is horse shit! 

Brennan Huff: You are making an ass out of yourself, you geriatric fuck! 

Dr. Robert Doback: Rock the fuck out of those drums, Dale. 

Dale Doback: Can we turn our beds into bunkbeds? 
Brennan Huff: It will give us so much extra space in our room to do activities! 
Dr. Robert Doback: Your adults, you can do what you want. 
Dale Doback: This is the funnest night ever! 

Alice, Derek, Dr. Robert Doback: Fucking Catalina Wine-Mixer! 

Alice: Stay gold, Ponyboy. 

Derek: Brennan has a man-gina. 

Brennan Huff: You better not close your eyes, because as soon as you do, I’m gonna punch you square in the face! 

Dr. Robert Doback: One day my father just said, “Goddamn it, you’re seventeen, stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job!” 

Dale Doback: I manage a baseball team. 
Nancy Huff: Oh, little league? 
Dale Doback: Fantasy league. 

Randy: Pow! 

Brennan Huff: I’m so scared right now. I’m just gonna to do what’s sensible, I’m gonna file for unemployment. Then I’m gonna try to get a job at Enterprise Rent-A-Car, because they got an excellent corporate structure and they… *they* give *you* the tools to be your own boss.

Dale Doback: [while Brennan is singing] Boats and hos. 

Brennan Huff: Holy Fucking Santa Claus Shit! 

Brennan Huff: [mowing lawn, dressed as Nazi] Hey Derek, spreken ze dick? 

WALL·E (2008)

Captain: I don’t want to survive! I want to live! 

Captain: Out there is our home – home, AUTO! – and it’s in trouble. I can’t just sit here and do nothing. That’s all I’ve ever done! That’s all anyone has ever done on this blasted ship. 
AUTO: In space we will survive. 
Captain: I don’t want to survive, I want to live! 
AUTO: I must follow my directive. 
Captain: [he turns around in frustration, and then looks at pictures of past captains to notice AUTO is closer to the camera in progressing pictures] 
Captain: [turns back] *I’m* the captain of this ship! We are going home *today*, AUTO! 

WALL.E: WALL-E. 
MO: M-O. 
WALL.E: M-O? 
MO: M-O. 
WALL.E: [pause] Oh. 

Mary: [Mary is looking at the stars outside the Axiom while other passengers pass idly by] Oh! So many stars! Ah. 
[she sees WALL-E and EVE flying around outside.] 
Mary: Oh! Hey! That’s what’s-his-name! 
[backs up, bumps into John] 
John: Hey! What the-? 
Mary: Look! Look look look! 
[she shuts off his chair and screen, making him aware of his surroundings] 
John: Huh? What? 
[sees WALL-E and EVE] 
John: Hey… I know that guy! It’s uh, uh… Wally! That’s it! Hey – Wally! It’s your buddy John! 
Mary: [simultaneously] Hey! Hi, Wally! 
[John casually puts his right hand upon Mary's.] 
John: [looks down, somewhat surprised; looks up at Mary, smiles] Hi. 
Mary: [smiles] Hi. 
 

Eve: Name? 
WALL.E: WALL-E. 
Eve: WALL-E? 
[giggles] 
Eve: Eve. 
WALL.E: Eva? 
Eve: Eve. 
WALL.E: Eeeeeva? 
Eve: Eve! Eve! 
WALL.E: Eeeeeva? 
Eve: [giggles] 

AUTO: Sir, give me the plant. 

Mary: I didn’t know we had a pool! 

Eve: [Eve repeats "Directive" in multiple languages, ending with...] Directive? 
[WALL-E demonstrates his trash-compacting function] 
WALL.E: Ta-dah! 
Eve: Ohhh… 
WALL.E: Dirrrrr-ect-tivvve? 
Eve: Directive? 
[WALL-E nods] 
Eve: [Eve turns away, sharply] Classified. 
WALL.E: Oh.

Hancock (2008)

Hancock: Call me an asshole one more time. 

 

Click here for more quotes and stills.

Hancock (2008)

Mary Embrey: [referring to Hancock] Did he…just take the whiskey bottle to the bathroom? 

Ray Embrey: Do you want him to kill us all? 

Ray Embrey: My basic diagnosis of your fundamental problem is…do you want to hear it? 
Hancock: No. 
Ray Embrey: You’re an asshole. I know. I call it like I see it, though. It’s not a crime to be an asshole, but it’s very counter-productive. Not a crime, but you are an asshole, don’t you think? 
Hancock: Be careful. 
Ray Embrey: Right now, there’s a DA trying to coming up here and put you in jail. 
Hancock: [while eating banana] Bitch can try! 
Ray Embrey: I say you go. 
Hancock: [confused] Hmm? 
Ray Embrey: People take you for granted, you know. We gotta make people miss you. People don’t like you, Hancock. 
Aaron Embrey: [yelling from other room] I do! 

Hancock: [reading prepared text] I apologize to the people of Los Angeles. My behavior has been improper and I accept the consequences. I ask my fellow Angelinos for their patience and understanding. Life here can be difficult for me. After all, I am the only one of my kind. During my incarceration, I will be participating in alcohol and anger management treatment. You deserve better from me. I can be better. I will be better. 

Ray Embrey: So you’ve used the door, the building’s still intact, people are happy you’ve arrived, they feel safe now, there’s an officer there and he’s done a good job, so you might want to tell him he’s done a good job. 
Hancock: What the hell did I have to come for Ray if he’s done a good job? 
Ray Embrey: [showing Hancock his uniform] For when they call. 
Hancock: I ain’t wearing that, Ray. 
Ray Embrey: Yes, you are. 
Hancock: Oh no, I’m not. 
Ray Embrey: No, you are. 
Hancock: Actually, I’m not Ray. 
Ray Embrey: You think you’re not, but you are. 
Hancock: I will fight crime butt-ass naked before I fight it in that, Ray. 
Ray Embrey: You know, you have fought naked. We got that. That’s on Youtube. 

Hancock: You and I… 
Mary Embrey: You and I what? 
Hancock: …we’re the same. 
Mary Embrey: No. I’m stronger. 
Hancock: Really? 
Mary Embrey: [smiling] Oh yeah. 
Hancock: Who are we? 
Mary Embrey: Gods, angels…Different cultures call us by different names. Now all of a sudden it’s superhero. 
Hancock: Are there more of us? 
Mary Embrey: There were. They all died. It’s just the two of us. 

Mary Embrey: [referring to Hancock] We broke up decades ago. Long before you were born. He just can’t remember. 
Ray Embrey: But you can, right? You knew? That’s something you might want to bring up on the first date, Mary. I don’t like to travel, I’m allergic to cats, I’m immortal. Those are like some of the things you might want to give a little heads-up on. 
Mary Embrey: Whatever we are, we’re built in twos. We’re drawn together. No matter how far I run, he’s always there! He finds me. It’s physics. 
Ray Embrey: Wait, what are you saying? Are you saying you two are fated to be together? 
Mary Embrey: I’ve lived for a very long time, Ray. And the one thing I learned – fate doesn’t decide everything. People get to choose.

 

Mamma Mia! (2008)

Sophie: I’ve invited my dad to my wedding. 
Ali: You found him!? 
Sophie: Well not exactly. 

Tanya: I’m old enough to be your mother! 
Rosie: Grandmother. 

Mamma Mia! (2008)

Donna: I grew up.

Tanya: Well, grow back down then!

 

Harry Bright: Is your father here? 
Sophie: [smiling] You tell me. 

 

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[from trailer] 
Bill: We’re here for the wedding. 
[Sophie is frazzled] 
Sam Carmichael: You are expecting us? 
Sophie: [pause] Oh my god, yeah.  

 

 

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[from trailer] 
Donna: You sound like you’re having fun already. 
Ali: Oh, we are! 
Donna: [woefully] I used to have fun! 
Ali: [giggles] Oh, we know! 
[Donna looks worried]  

 

 

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[from trailer] 
Donna: There were three guys around the same time… 
[giggles] 
Tanya: You shady lady!  

 

 

---

[from trailer] 
Sophie: I don’t care if you’ve slept with hundreds of men! 
Donna: I haven’t slept with HUNDREDS of men…!  

 

 

---

Sophie: I’ve invited my dad to my wedding. 
Ali: You found him!? 
Sophie: Well not exactly.  

 

 

---

Rosie: [to Tanya] This is very greek.  

 

 

---

Donna: [hugging Sophie] Look at my baby her whole life ahead of her.  

 

 

---

Sam Carmichael: Last time I saw your mother she said she never wanted to see me again.  

 

 

---

Donna: [to Rosie] Somebody up there has got it in for me. I bet it’s my mother.  

 

 

---

Rosie: [to Tanya] Typical you wait 20 years for a father and then three show up at once.  

 

 

---

Sky: It’s my last night of freedom… which is what some might see it, but for me it’s the last night before the greatest adventure of my life.  

 

 

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Harry Bright: [on his sudden appearance for Sophie's wedding] I took a spontaneous holiday.  

 

 

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Donna: What are you doing here? 
Bill: I’m writing a travel piece. 
Harry Bright: I took a spontaneous holiday. 
Sam Carmichael: I thought I’d drop in and say hi.  

 

 

---

Tanya: [to Sophie] You probably don’t recognize me. 
Rosie: Not with all that plastic surgery.  

 

 

---

Harry Bright: [introducing himself] Bright. Harry Bright.  

 

 

---

Sophie: You took my mother’s guitar! 
Harry Bright: Borrowed. I got it for her. Cost me ten quid and my Johnny Rotten T-shirt. See? DS: Donna Sheridan. HB: Head Banger.  

 

 

---

Tanya: I’m old enough to be your mother! 
Rosie: Grandmother.  

 

 

---

Rosie: [to Donna, holding up Tanya's underwear] Does she wear it or floss with it? 
Tanya: Floss you!  

 

 

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Rosie: I’m a lone wolf!  

 

 

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Sophie: [reading Donna's diary] We danced on the beach, kissed on the beach and dot, dot, dot.  

 

 

---

Harry Bright: Bugger. 
Sam Carmichael: My sentiments exactly.  

 

 

---

Donna: I grew up. 
Tanya: Well, grow back down then!  

 

 

---

Sophie: [Bill has just realized that he might be her father] There’s something else… 
Bill: Don’t tell me you have a twin sister.  

 

 

---

Sophie: But I love Sky. I love Sky more than anything.  

 

 

---

Tanya: [before singing 'Does Your Mother Know'] Little boys who play with fire get their fingers burned.  

 

 

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Donna: I better be dreaming, you better not be here. 
Bill: You want me to pinch you Donna?  

 

 

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Sam Carmichael: [after Donna falls on Harry's air bed] You always knew how to make an entrance.  

 

 

---

Tanya: [talking about Donna's money troubles and her life in general] Yeah, but are you being taken care of? 
Donna: What do you mean? 
Tanya: Are you getting any? 
Donna: Oh, you mean… 
[turns on the screw driver, making loud noises, then says to the screw driver:] 
Donna: Down, boy.  

 

 

The Dark Knight – The Best Joker quotes

 

“The only sensible way to live your life is without rules. And tonight, you’re gonna break your one rule.”

“You know, you remind me of my father. I hated my father.”

“Let’s not blow things out of proportion”

“Freak? Why don’t we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches, hmm? And then we’ll see how loyal a hungry dog really is! It’s not about money, it’s about sending a message.”

“I believe… whatever doesn’t kill you simply makes you… stranger.”

“It’s all part of the plan.”

“Let’s put a smile on that face!”

“This city deserves a better class of criminal and I’m gonna give it to them.”

“Introduce a little anarchy…upset the established order…and everything becomes chaos. I’m an agent of chaos.”

“One thing I’ve learned is if you’re good at something, never do it for free.”

“I’m gonna make this pencil disappear.”

“Why so serious?”

 

 

 

All the Joker quotes <-click

 

Wanted (2008)

Cathy: Wesley! 
Wesley: [half-asleep] What is it? 
Cathy: What do you mean what is it? Listen. 
[subway train passes by and shakes the entire apartment] 
Cathy: How the hell am I supposed to sleep with all that fucking racket? When are we going to move so that we don’t have to wake up to that shit? 
Wesley: I kind of like it. 
[voice-over] 
Wesley: It helps to drown out the sound of your annoying fucking voice. Now please, let me sleep. 

 

The Butcher: You are a pussy! 
Wesley: I’m not a pussy. I got a healthy respect for the human…condition. 
The Butcher: Fuck that! You are a pussy!

Wanted (2008)

Wesley: Have you ever thought about doing things differently? 
Fox: How do you mean? 
Wesley: I don’t know. Being somebody else? Someone…normal? 
Fox: [after a long pause] No.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 (2008)

Tibby: So Kostos isn’t married. Why can’t you just stop thinking about it and follow your heart?
Lena: Because…he broke my heart!

Kostos: We are no good at not loving each other… 
Lena: I tried. I tried, but I couldn’t. 
Kostos: I tried too…

 
New added.

Leo: Interesting jeans Lena.
Lena: Oh yeah. [laughs] It’s a long story.            

Lena: Are you ok?
Tibby: I just fell off a donkey! 

Teenage girl: Do you know if this movie is any good?
Wigged girl: Well that depends.
Teenage girl: Well what if you are in the mood, you know, for something romantic.
Wigged girl: I would go with Texas Chainsaw Massacre [winks] the remake. 

More quotes for this movie coming soon.

 

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The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008) – Quotes

Quotes

Rick O’Connell: I. Really. Hate. Mummies. 
Evelyn O’Connell: I think the feeling is mutual. 

Jonathan Carnahan: Ah! My ass is on fire! My ass is on fire! Spank my ass. Spank my ass!  

Evelyn O’Connell: What is that god awful smell? 
Jonathan Carnahan: [covered in puke] The Yak yakked.  

Jonathan Carnahan: You three-headed shape-shifting son-of-a-bitch.  

Jonathan Carnahan: Die you mummy bastards. Die. 
Mad Dog Maguire: There is no call for bad language. 
  

Jonathan Carnahan: [to Rick] You guys are like mummy magnets! 

[from trailer] 
[stopping a car before throwing the man out] 
Rick O’Connell: Whoa whoa whoa. Sorry pal, there’s a mummy on the loose. 

---

[from trailer] 
[upon seeing an army of the undead] 
Rick O’Connell: So these are the good undead guys, right? 

---

[from trailer] 
Jonathan Carnahan: I hate mummies. They never play fair. 

---

[from trailer] 
Alex O’Connell: Good going dad. You’ve raised another mummy. In his tomb, it said he had control of the five elements. 

---

[from trailer] 
Zijuan: [about Han] When the emperor built the great wall, he buried his enemies underneath it. I will call them to battle once more. 

---

[from trailer] 
Jonathan Carnahan: [to Rick] You guys are like mummy magnets! 

---

Rick O’Connell: Here we go again! 

---

  

Evelyn O’Connell: [speaking of Rick fishing] At least you’ve got a hobby that doesn’t involve guns. 

 

 

---

Mad Dog Maguire: [seeing a dragon flying below them] Rick, should I give up drinking? 
Rick O’Connell: No. 

---

Jonathan Carnahan: Ah! My ass is on fire! My ass is on fire! Spank my ass. Spank my ass! 

---

Evelyn O’Connell: What is that god awful smell? 
Jonathan Carnahan: [covered in puke] The Yak yakked. 

---

Jonathan Carnahan: You three-headed shape-shifting son-of-a-bitch. 

---

Jonathan Carnahan: Die you mummy bastards. Die. 
Mad Dog Maguire: There is no call for bad language. 

---

Rick O’Connell: I’ve put down more mummies in my time. 
Alex O’Connell: [scoffs] *One* mummy. 
Rick O’Connell: Same mummy. *Twice*! 

 

 

---

Rick O’Connell: I. Really. Hate. Mummies. 
Evelyn O’Connell: I think the feeling is mutual. 

 

 

---

Mad Dog Maguire: I’d tell you to fasten your seatbelts, but I was too cheap to buy any. 
[laughs] 
Rick O’Connell: [laughs] Why am I laughing?

Pineapple Express (2008)

Dale Denton: How could he find us? 
Saul: Umm, heat-seeking missiles, bloodhounds, foxes, barracudas. 
Dale Denton: It’s just… I’m kinda flabbergasted when you say things like that. It’s weird. 
Saul: Thank you. 
Dale Denton: Not a compliment.

 

Dale Denton: Whoa, whoa! I gotta get to a phone, man. Come on! 
Saul: No, no! I think we should stay. 
Dale Denton: Why? 
Saul: [pause] ‘Cause I’m in the dumpster already. 

 

 

Saul: Fuck the po-lice! 

Saul: Hey look, my thumb looks like my cock.   

 

Ted Jones: Has anyone seen my bigger knife?   

 

 

Ken: [in Korean] Prepare to suck the cock of karma!   

 

 

Ken: [about to attack Ted Jones's pot warehouse] Tonight we cook up some shit. Time to burn this motherfucker down. 

Ken: No retreat, no surrender! 
[loads Uzi]   

 

 

Budlofsky: [Matheson is smoking weed] No, I can’t have any. My wife can smell that off my sweater. 

Matheson: [laughs] You can borrow my vest. It smells real good. 
Budlofsky: Doesn’t match my style. 
Matheson: You ain’t got no style, muthafucka.   

 

 

Matheson: [to Budlofsky] You used to be fierce. You used to be ruthless!   

 

 

Red: Today’s my cat’s birthday.   

 

Matheson: [Saul has smashed a coffee pot in Matheson's face, leaving huge scars] I look like the Hamburglar.   

 

 

Angie Anderson: Fuck you Dale. I lost my virginity when I was fourteen, okay? How many women have you even slept with? 

Dale Denton: Like two and a half. 
Angie Anderson: Two and a half? What the fuck does that mean? Your hand?   

 

 

Robert: Angie, you’re an idiot. I say that with love.   

 

 

Dale Denton: Yeah but if you do bad stuff you’re going to come back as something bad like a slug or an anal bead. But if you do something heroic then you’ll come back as like an eagle or a dragon, or Jude Law. Now which would you rather be? 

Red: The anal bead wouldn’t be bad. I mean I guess it would depend on whose anal bead it was. 
Dale Denton: It’s *my* anal bead.   

 

 

Police Liaison Officer: What the hell is that? What the hell is that? 

Dale Denton: Oh, oh, it’s a joint. Honest I thought it was decriminalized. 
Police Liaison Officer: Selling drugs to minors has *not* been decriminalized. I’m the police liaison officer with this school and I just saw a bunch of my kids coming around the corner with their eyes as red as Satan’s prick!   

 

 

Red: You just got killed by a Daewoo Lanos!   

 

Red: [points to his armpits] You see this? There’s no hair under here! 

Dale Denton: What’s the significance of that? 
Red: It makes me aerodynamic, for fighting!   

 

 

Saul: Start the car man, start the car! 

Dale Denton: Yea, you see, me doing that and you saying it is obviously helping. 
Saul: Well start it! 
Dale Denton: I can’t…the batteries are must be dead. 
Saul: What do you mean the batteries are dead? 
Dale Denton: The batteries are dead…I don’t know any other way to possibly explain this to you.   

 

 

 

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The Dark Knight – Joker quotes

Gambol: [to The Joker] Give me one reason why I shouldn’t have my boy here rip your head off. 
The Joker: How about a magic trick? 
[pulls out a pencil and sticks it upright into the table] 
The Joker: I’m gonna make this pencil… disappear. 
[Gambol's thug walks over to kill The Joker, who pushes his face into the pencil and kills him] 
The Joker: Ta-daa! It’s… gone! 

 

Best of Joker quotes

Full list of Joker quotes

The Dark Knight (2008)

Batman: What did you do?
The Joker: I took Gotham’s white knight, and brought him down to our level. It wasn’t hard. Y’see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little…push.
[laughs]
[last lines]
Lt. James Gordon: Because he’s the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now…and so we’ll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he’s not a hero. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector…a dark knight.
The Joker: [to Batman] We really should stop fighting, we’ll miss the fireworks!

The Dark Knight (2008)

The Joker: See, I’m not a monster…I’m just ahead of the curve. 

Casablanca 1942

Here’s looking at you, kid.

Gone With the Wind 1939

Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial 1982

E.T. phone home.

The Wizard of Oz 1939

There’s no place like home.

The Wizard of Oz 1939

Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.

The Godfather 1972

I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.