Step Brothers (2008)

 

Dale Doback: Barbara Walters, Oprah, your wife. You gotta fuck one, kill one, and marry one, go! 

Dale Doback: [as they are called back into the office for their first interview] We’re here to fuck shit up! 

Brennan Huff: Robert better not get in my face… ’cause I’ll drop that motherfucker! 

Brennan Huff: I’m going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you! 

Derek: So, what do we do now? 
Brennan Huff: Can we hug? 
Derek: Yeah, you’d like that, you faggot!… I’m sorry, I’m new to this. 

Brennan Huff: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls! 

Dale Doback: [after hearing Brennan sing] You have the voice of an angel. I mean, it’s like Fergie meets Jesus. 

Brennan Huff: I have a belly full of white dog crap, and now you lay this shit on me? 

Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison! 
Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit! 
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks! 

Brennan Huff: [to Dale] You’re a big, fat, curly-headed fuck! 

Brennan Huff: Shut your mouth. Sh-sh-shut your mouth. 

Brennan Huff: Eat shit Derek! 

Brennan Huff: [in his therapist's fantasy] I’ve come five hundred miles to deliver my seed. 

 

Dale Doback: [both waking up from dreams on top of each other] Oh no, I’m late for school. 

Brennan Huff: I’ll kiss you on the lips, Kenny Rodgers. 

Brennan Huff: I tea-bagged your drum set! 

Brennan Huff: This wedding is horse shit! 

Brennan Huff: You are making an ass out of yourself, you geriatric fuck! 

Dr. Robert Doback: Rock the fuck out of those drums, Dale. 

Dale Doback: Can we turn our beds into bunkbeds? 
Brennan Huff: It will give us so much extra space in our room to do activities! 
Dr. Robert Doback: Your adults, you can do what you want. 
Dale Doback: This is the funnest night ever! 

Alice, Derek, Dr. Robert Doback: Fucking Catalina Wine-Mixer! 

Alice: Stay gold, Ponyboy. 

Derek: Brennan has a man-gina. 

Brennan Huff: You better not close your eyes, because as soon as you do, I’m gonna punch you square in the face! 

Dr. Robert Doback: One day my father just said, “Goddamn it, you’re seventeen, stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job!” 

Dale Doback: I manage a baseball team. 
Nancy Huff: Oh, little league? 
Dale Doback: Fantasy league. 

Randy: Pow! 

Brennan Huff: I’m so scared right now. I’m just gonna to do what’s sensible, I’m gonna file for unemployment. Then I’m gonna try to get a job at Enterprise Rent-A-Car, because they got an excellent corporate structure and they… *they* give *you* the tools to be your own boss.

Dale Doback: [while Brennan is singing] Boats and hos. 

Brennan Huff: Holy Fucking Santa Claus Shit! 

Brennan Huff: [mowing lawn, dressed as Nazi] Hey Derek, spreken ze dick?